Snow White, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty – all of these characters have something in common; no, it’s not just the final line in every story “…and they lived happily ever after.”
When it came to finding happiness, each one of them shared a similar experience where one or a few individuals stood in the way of them finding theirs.
While they certainly didn’t ask to be harassed by these characters (and nothing seemed to suggest that they deserved it either), it seems that those who caused them heartache simply had their hearts set on making their lives as miserable as possible.
How many of us identify with their stories today?
While reading the first few lines of this article many of you might have instinctively thought about that one person in your life that seems to play the role of the villain all to well.
While no amount of wishing or calling on fairies, fairy godmothers or any others mystical beings will make them disappear; we need to come to terms with the fact that they are here to stay and that the only way forward is by learning to adjust our attitude.
If those around us determine our happiness then we are in for a world of trouble. After all, isn’t it “your” happiness?
Let me throw in a twist or 2 for the story that’s unfolding before us right now…
It’s easy for us to see things the way we want to see them; yet, it’s an entirely different thing for us to be willing to see what is actually unfolding before us.
While it’s easy for us to point fingers and blame those we perceive to be “villains” in our stories; I wonder how many of us unknowingly and without any real thought, are the actual villains in our own stories?
(This is probably one of those moments where the words crash your reality wide open as the realization sets in.)
As I’ve said; we seem to find no problem pointing at or blaming others for the lack of our own happiness, but when it comes down to the fact that we might be the one to blame… well that’s an entirely different ball game.
No one generally tends to think like this and yet as we look back (perhaps at our current situation or a situation some time ago) how many times weren’t we the ones who stood in the way of allowing true happiness to simply take its natural course in our lives?
Instead of us allowing this course, we choose to hold on to our perceived wrong, deciding that we will make a point of letting everyone around us know of how we’ve been ill-treated.
While we like to believe that this has some effect on those around us, the truth is the only effect that takes place is in our own lives.
The reality is that everyone is so caught up in their own lives and chasing their own piece of happiness, while you are standing there trying to make a statement that no one is really paying attention too. At least not to the extent that you hoped they would.
There really are few things more frustrating than that.
So I have to ask: who is actually the one standing in the way of your happiness?
Simple logic tells me that we are the only ones who tend to stand in our own way.
It seems that people are more inclined to hold onto their misery, because happiness would require one to simply let go and move on.
If you are honestly looking to find your joy and happiness, then the best thing to do is to get out of your own way and make peace with the situation by letting go of what you are holding on to.
It’s when we learn to do this that we actually begin stepping out of our own way.
Roles are often perceived from different viewpoints.
Another twist I would like to throw in is this…
While most of us clearly focus on the villains in ourlives – those in our own stories; I have to wonder how many of us ever think about the fact that we might just be the “villain” in someone else’s life?
(Yet another moment where these words crash the reality you’ve come to know…)
I know there will be some who will think about this statement and realize that there is some truth in that fact, while there will also be those who will simply flat out deny any possibility of this.
It’s easier for us to paint others as the villains (with all their flaws), but when it comes to our own lives we tend to use a whole different set of brushes.
What’s that old saying in the Bible – “Remove the plank out of your own eye, before trying to remove the splint from your brothers eye”?
Without us realizing it we tend to give ourselves more of an unfair advantage and the benefit of the doubt, to the extent where we are a bit unrealistic about the way we think of ourselves. After all, it’s not like we intentionally set out to wrong those around us.
And yet, without failure, we do just that.
If our stories were to be written the same way as those found in fairytales, would it be with the same characteristics of those characters – kind, loving and tendered hearted?
Or would there be that scene in our story where we stand in front of the mirror asking it to tell us “who is the cause of our unhappiness”?
Honestly, if we find ourselves in front of that mirror (hypothetically speaking of course) it should already be an indication that inside all of us there might be a villain.
Whether it is in our own lives or in the lives of those around us.
Please understand that I’m not trying to be mean or critical of you as an individual. I’m simply trying to point out that when we fail to be happy, we could be the reason for our own unhappiness.
Sometimes we are so caught up in ourselves, in our own ‘fairytale’, that we miss the opportunities to experience real happiness.
Give this some thought.
Instead of looking at those around you as the reason you seem to lack the ability to enjoy life and find the happiness you long for, take a closer look and recognize the fact that you may well be the real reasonfor the lack thereof.
Learn to get out of your own way so that you may find greater joy and a more fulfilled life that comes by simply letting go.
Realize today that you too have the ability to live happily ever after.
– The End –