The cost of rejection.

There are various forms of rejection and unfortunately we have all had a personal encounter with rejection at some stage in our lives.

While some rejection may have only stung in the moment e.g. being told no by the girl (or boy) you were asking out or not getting that job you wanted, there are other forms of rejection that are a lot harder to shake off.

Of course it does not make it any easier when this type of rejection happens often, as it causes one to feel deep feelings of insecurity or even worthlessness.

The question now is how does one move past that type of rejection? The answer being “with great difficulty”.

While it might seem that only some people experience this type of rejection, it still is something that has to be dealt with, failure to do so creates more problems for the individual themselves and for those around them.

Rejection never stays with just the individual. Like cancer, it consumes everything, by infecting the healthy cells around it until it destroys the roots itself. If allowed to, it will breed until no one is able to point out its origin, leaving everyone dealing with the symptoms rather than the root itself.

Consuming one individual at a time…

I have this image in my mind of one bucket’s content being passed on to another bucket and then to another and so on.

Every individual begins his or her life as one of these buckets, ready to be filled with what life has to offer (the good and the bad). But unfortunately, rejection is one of those gifts that keep on giving.

As a person’s bucket fills up and spills over, the good but sadly mostly the bad, gets passed on to the next bucket. This is how rejections flourishes, it spreads its endless cycle from individual to individual.

This is how it will look like in the lives of one of these individuals:

Rejection (when left unchecked) will lead to a life of isolation, this isolation creates insecurity which in turn leads to a lack of purpose. Over a period of time you find that the individual ends up leading a life of entitlement, bulldozing their way through everyone at the expense of others, just so that they can gain some form of control.

While this seems like the only way forward, people who live this way end up doing more harm than good and the cycle of rejection continues in the life of the next individual.

Every one of us are going to have our fair share in dealing with it, but it is what we do with that rejection that truly matters in the end. We can decide whether we will continue this cycle of hurt or not.

This far and no further…

Now…I want to take this moment and speak to you personally. For this next part, I need you to take your focus off everyone else and look at your own life.

Do not think of how this might apply to someone you know or that person you constantly have in your mind. LOOK AT YOURSELF!!

The question we have to ask is at what point do we stop rejection from spilling over into the lives of those around us?

Someone has to decide to put aside rejection’s sting and deal with it in a healthy manner, in order for those around them not to be affected. Sadly, many choose not to do so, but instead burden those around them with their feelings of insecurity, entitlement and a bulldozing mentality, fighting for what they believe is their right.

It takes extraordinary courage (and dare I say selfless bravery) to break the cycle of rejection and yet all it needs is one individual willing to say “Enough is enough, I am done with being rejection’s victim”.

Yes, it will mean having to deal with the pain and being willing to (sometimes daily) let go of the hurt that constantly plays in the back of your mind. It might even mean not getting the justice this world often fights for and yet fails to obtain.

But when you do it for the sake of those you love to spare them from carrying on this endless cycle, is it not worth letting go of?

This is where a crucial decision needs to be made, either empty out the contents of your bucket and be willing to start fresh, or allow it to spill over into the lives of those around you.

While some of you might think this is impossible, I want you to consider everything that is at stake, think of those around you, the ones you love and are dearest to you.

If you are not willing to let go and break the cycle of hurt you are inevitably just handing rejection over to them.

Anything is possible when there is something worth fighting for; perhaps all it needs is for you to readjust your focus and energy from yourself to those around you. Do not let it be only “your right to be heard”, but rather uplift and keep the support of those around you.

In the end it is not just you who will be losing out when failing to deal with rejection, but those you come in contact with and who are closest to you.



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